E-dating

E-dating is an old practice which has its roots in the famous Furry MOOs and MUSHes of yore. Then Mr. Bungle e-raped some furry using only emotes, which spawned a long and boring essay. These days, most teenagers do their dating business on fancy social networking websites like Facebook or Myspace. But for nerdiest nerds, text-based e-dating might be the only choice left. For those poor and sick souls out there, here are a few tips.

Don't grief your e-crush

Admit it, you thought about it, huh? You were asking yourself if it would be a good idea to set up a romantic evening and savagely kill your date for shits and giggles. That's crazy. You're crazy. Don't spawnkill your e-date, don't bring a suitcase nuke to the first date and please, no rape. The less people die on that special night, the more chances you have to get some nookie.

Bring flowers

Or something fancy like that. Your date will appreciate the gesture and this may help you get laid later. A basket of fruits and vegetables may replace flowers.

Don't be retarded

Make sure you do not fall on your head on your way to pick up your date. Watch out for the sky too, you wouldn't want to receive a hover platform launched from a stray cessna right on the head. If such a thing happens, make sure you get brain surgery as soon as possible. There is nothing that turns off women more than "SUP L0L W4NN4 SEX UP LOL HURRR?!"

If you get ditched

Please avoid useless murder rampages and refer immediately to the E-breakups guide.